500 days sober tomorrow.

I think I might be slipping into a bad, dark space. 500 days sober tomorrow, and all I keep thinking is: that’s a stupid date marker. I’ve never considered 500 days to be a meaningful amount for anything. It’s not equivalent to anything important that I’ve done or experienced in my life. It’s just an…… Continue reading 500 days sober tomorrow.

This – just listen to this.

http://isabelfoxenduke.com/struggling-with-intuitive-eating-faqs-with-evelyn-tribole/ And then we can talk about losing weight “for health”, sugar addiction and anything else you thought was real, true and right – because: science. What my coach IFD and the co-author of Intuitive Eating, Evelyn Tribole, have to say on these topics and more is so important for women. It’s important, full stop,…… Continue reading This – just listen to this.

What other people want for me, and for the world.

A lot of people want me to like myself more. There’s some discomfort reading about my discomfort. Or hearing about it, in person. Some people tell me I’m exaggerating my size. I’m not fat enough to see myself as anything other than acceptable and within the normal range. Other people generously heap praise and sympathy…… Continue reading What other people want for me, and for the world.

My body dysmorphia pendulum.

Sometimes I am convinced that I am way larger than I actually am: classic body dysmorphia (like anorexics). I get angry and sad about being fundamentally wrong-bodied, and maybe one day dying never having known what it feels like to be thin and classically pretty. Then other times – maybe even most of the time?…… Continue reading My body dysmorphia pendulum.