Hi again. I just wanted to let you all know that I cannot stop stuffing my face with food things today.
It’s 12:45 pm here in Seattle, and I’ve already eaten one big bowl (three servings) of oatmeal with brown sugar and pecans and half and half. Then a bowl of leftover pickled green bean salad. And just now I ate four toasted english muffins with peanut butter and honey.
I just took my second 500 mg L-Glutamine pill because they are SUPPOSED to help with cravings. Granted, they help with alcohol/sugar cravings – not nicotine specifically. But I keep thinking they should help… in some way. Probably they do help in some made up magical rainbow unicorn way. Aw hell.
I’m not giving up because if I give up I have to do this shit ALL OVER AGAIN. I refuse to do this even one more time in my lifetime.
Whoever gets my soul after I’m dead will probably get addicted to everything possible again (sorry future me!) but I won’t deal with it again in this incarnation.