Total Fatty

Yay! Got past the famous, dreaded Day 3.

I ate like a crazy person and slept fitfully last night, but I got through it.

I also treated myself to a visit with a friend for sushi dinner at her house in the country (Redmond, WA). Her kids are maybe the most adorable kids ever, so that lifted my mood immensely. As did talking through my recent spate of seemingly bottomless anger and bitchiness, especially toward my husband.

I wonder if my natural personality is just angry and bitchy. I wonder if I developed my habit of smiling and laughing all the time because of my early body shame, and all my attempts to get people to like me despite my imperfect body?

Guess I’ll never know.

What I do know today, on Day 4 of quitting nicotine:

1. The urge for nicotine only hit me once (so far) when I poured my first cup of coffee.
2. I didn’t drink as much coffee today because it just didn’t “work” the way I’m used to. It didn’t taste as good without the gum (I know, weird).
3. Regular mint gum is really helpful as a way to keep my mind off cravings.
4. My recent intense aches and pains (shoulder and hip) are fading if not entirely gone.

This weekend my husband and I are going to Bumbershoot, then to Orcas Island for a mini vacation. I can’t wait. I REALLY hope my bitchy-mc-bitcherson attitude will make way for some relaxing vacation fun times.

P.S. I’m especially excited to go to Bumbershoot this year and have no need to plan where, when and how much I will drink, smoke or chew (nicorette gum). FREEDOM!!