I had a drinking dream last night. Actually, I had an almost drinking dream last night. I was in a liquor store, trying to decide between rum and vodka. I wanted to buy vodka, so people wouldn’t smell booze on my breath, but I couldn’t remember what to drink with it. I was fixated on coke as a…… Continue reading Apparently I’m a goody two shoes, even in my dreams.
I’ve talked a lot in this blog about my body and my weight, and how I’ve battled all my life against what I have to assume is my natural size. I also have to assume that my body is probably at a higher set-point weight today than it might have been if I’d never dieted…… Continue reading Middlesize.
Sometimes I am convinced that I am way larger than I actually am: classic body dysmorphia (like anorexics). I get angry and sad about being fundamentally wrong-bodied, and maybe one day dying never having known what it feels like to be thin and classically pretty. Then other times – maybe even most of the time?…… Continue reading My body dysmorphia pendulum.
Here’s a little nugget to chew on. I was chatting with my diet-ditching coach Isabel Foxen Duke the other day, bemoaning my old “fat feelings” that cropped up after my yoga retreat. I said something like “I know I know. Restricting my food won’t solve whatever it is I’m actually feeling. But the urge is…… Continue reading Moderating.
I don’t know much about Byron Katie. What I do know is from watching a couple of youtube videos and coming away very, very confused. But I just saw this on Facebook, and wanted to share it, because it was beautiful and thought-provoking: A sharing from a retreat with Byron Katie: “One woman told us…… Continue reading Mind a teensy bit blown.
I’ve received a lot of interesting and good feedback from the interview I did with Jean at The Bubble Hour podcast (http://www.blogtalkradio.com/bubblehour/2017/07/02/quitting-everything-ingrid-on-dumping-cigarettes-booze-and-diets). Thank you to all who listened to the whole thing! It’s a long meandering story, but in the end (and I hope you got to the end), there is definitely redemption: freedom from…… Continue reading What should I tell my daughter?
Ok Pema Chodron, work your magic. I need to feel my feelings, and yesterday I didn’t do a great job of it. I snapped at my husband. I posted stuff on this blog. I gorged on Season 3 of Game of Thrones. I couldn’t bring myself to go out and buy some veggies at the…… Continue reading Feeling fat.